Mothering and Relationships

” A mother holds her children’s hand for a while…but their hearts forever.”- Anon.

This is one of my favorite quotation on motherhood.. This phrase is so true now that my siblings and I are leaving our childhood home one by one. I looked at my little kids and can’t imagine how those little feet running around the house, the constant squabbling over a single toy, the need for attention all at once could be a memory in a number of years from now. I wonder how my own Mom is dealing with her children leaving home. Doesn’t she miss our noise, laughter, screaming and yes- fighting too? When I went home six months ago, I was surprised by how sad our house looks like. Just like my parents, the house has grown ‘old’ too.  Gone are the noise and the ‘busyness’ of the home. And I thought of my mother- what is she thinking now that almost all of her children are starting their own families?

I am still in the early phase of motherhood and I am reflecting on how my children would remember me when they have their own families. Would they remember how busy I am with work? or would they remember the time I spent bathing, taking care and playing with them? I am sure any mother- whether a full time or part time career mom, or a full time stay at home mom- loves her children deeply. I think that is the most important thing in life– that we love our children whatever our situation is.

Now when I hold my kids (and they could be very demanding- just imagine three kids spaced so shortly), I try to savor the moment and remember how each hug feels like. Sooner, the noise (which could be ear splitting at times), and the demands would be gone… I am writing this thoughts down so I won’t forget that I want my children to leave home with happy memories. I just realized that life could pass by so quickly. Last week, we had dinner with an old family friend who are like parents to me and my hubby. I look at them and remember how they looked like when I was younger and though how life could go by so fast. And I realized that what matter most in life is not how much money you made, the degrees or the house. While all these are important while we are supporting the needs of our children, in the bigger view of things- they are just that- means of support but not the meat of life. What is most important is the relationship we have of people. The relationship we have of our old friends, our parents and most importantly of our own child(ren)… So, my new goal right now is to simply nurture relationships while I still have time.

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2 thoughts on “Mothering and Relationships

  1. I feel exactly the same way.

    I hope and pray my children will strive to live their lives learning from my mistakes and successes, and it is my sincere prayer that they will always strive to make the right choices – because it will matter, and definitely have an impact on the quality of their lives later.

    As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said last night during the YW Fireside: We all have our “Once Upon A Time”, and in like matter, in due time, if and when we make the right choices, we will have our “Happily Ever After”.

    Thanks Bin for this wonderful write-up ♥

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